Baa baa black sheep...

The past two days have felt like two weeks. I feel like there is so much to say! I've had lots of ups and downs already, but that's to be expected. I REALLY love spanish class! It's so Swattie of me to be happiest when I'm in class, haha! But it's true. Yesterday, my frist day of class, I was really nervous. I'm not in class with anyone in my group on the Pitzer study abroad program. I was put into a class with another girl from Islandia (is the Ice Land in English?). We went over basics like the verbs "ser" and "estar" and "hay". Class is totally in Spanish, and requires lots of talking. When we don't understand a word, the profesor explains it in Spanish rather than using English, or someone else's native language. It's really helpful. Today, however, the girl that was in my class was moved into another class and two new students joined me. One is a 36 year old accountant from Norway (Jan), and the other is a 25 year old guy from Suiza (not sure what that is in English either, haha) named Leo. Jan knows 4 or 5 languages, including English, but Leo only knows a few English words. I really like being in class with people I don't know, and who don't necessarily speak the same language as I do (with the exception of Spanish of course!) This is how language class should be! I really appreciate being able to say things aloud, make mistakes, and be totally immersed in the language without fear of being judged or that people will get impatient with me. I definitely feel like I'm making progress already. More words are coming back to me, or are easier to remember this time around, and I feel like I'm understanding others better. (And we read a short passage on Carnaval in class and I actually understood it!!)
I really hope these guys stay in class with me, because they're a lot of fun. We spent so much time laughing!! We were going over regular verbs and had to conjugate the verb that the profesor had on a flashcard, then give an example sentence, or ask a fellow student a question using the word. Leo ended up asking Jan how many beers he drank in a weekend (and he answered 12 amongst much laughter), then later, Jan asked me if I needed another boyfriend, to which I answered "No, no necesito un novio mas, porque no tengo un novio." ("No, I don't need another boyfriend, because I don't have one.") Both the question and the answer got a lot of laughs! It was so funny and so much fun! I feel so much calmer when I'm in class, or doing my homework, and class really is the best part of my day. I really wish I had class all day, rather than just for 4 hours in the morning.
Yesterday was kind of hard because at lunch, I was talking to my host father (who is an AMAZING person! He's so kind and patient, and is really helping me come out of my shell). I was explaining to him how frustrating it is for me to speak Spanish because I understand a lot, but just don't have the vocabulary to respond. I told him that trying to speak Spanish (especially with my Abuelita [grandmother]) makes me want to cry. He told me not to cry, that it was ok, and it's not important that I don't have the words, what is important is that I try to express my ideas and thoughts. He and my host mother thought I was sad when I went to take a nap after lunch before the orientation for community service at the Pitzer office. (They weren't entirely wrong). Later that afternoon, while I was in the orientation, and while I was waiting for him outside the office, I kept fighting back tears. I felt really lonely because I missed home, my friends and family, and frustrated at the language barrier (I have the lowest language ability of anyone in my class, not to mention I feel like I don't belong, but more on that later). It was really hard expecially while I was waiting outside for my host dad to pick me up, and all I wanted to do was go hide in my room and cry when I got home. Luckily, my three little brothers are amazing. Somehow they managed to cheer me up without trying, helped me with my homework (Ferni was doing English homework while I was doing Spanish!) and then we all had a giant tickle fight! Last night and tonight, I has tickle fights with my brothers, and seriously, that and class were the best parts of both days! If I could have picked out the kind of little brothers I would want to have, these guys totally perfect matches!
About my group, there are only 7 of us. It's nice that we're such a small group, but I really don't feel like I belong. Maybe it's because most of them are Pitzer students and kind of knew eachother beforehand, or maybe our personalities just don't match. I wish I had another Swattie here just purely for the fact that we would be on the same wavelength. They try to include me in activities outside of classes (going to bars, soccer games, etc), but the past few times, I haven't been feeling well, in addition to not really wanting to go because I feel left out. I feel like I can't really have conversations with them, as hard as I try. There is one student in our group I feel completely comfortable talking to, but he's the one the rest make fun of and don't seem to like. I feel frustrated because I can't really defend him (sometimes I agree with what they say, but I would never SAY it) and other times, I just feel like they would like me even less for saying anything at all. I really want to get to know other students at the Language Institute where I'm taking classes (there are people from all over the world!) and hang out with them. I feel like I may be able to connect to other people better. It's a little upsetting that I already realize that I'm probably not gonna totally hit it off with these kids, but it's ok. I have awesome friends back home. ^_^
Oh yeah, and I hope to actually figure out how to get around the city soon. My host dad has been driving me everywhere, so I haven't taken the Ecovia to class yet, and feel really housebound. Not to mention that if I go somewhere with other people, I don't have good enough Spanish to call him from the cell phone they gave me (it goes to whichever student they are hosting, I'm their fifth) and ask if I can stay out, or take a taxi, or whatever.
(I feel like I had something else to say, but after sitting here wondering what is was for the past 5 minutes, I've given up...for now)
Anywho, I should be going to bed soon (I've been telling my family goodnight at 10, when the boys go to bed, then showering and actually going to sleep at 11). I get up at like 7am, which isn't hard at all when I go to bed at 11. I should try that at Swat sometime. Oh, wait, I did... and it didn't last long, haha!

PS- While writing this, I heard "Chaiyya Chaiyya" on the TV while my brither Ferni was changing channels! haha!